Beauty for Ashes

Ashes! That is exactly what I was full of when I went through the season of my separation and divorce. Looking into the mirror, all I could see were ashes! Ashes of dead dreams! Dreams of having a united and complete family. Dreams of providing a safe and happy home for my children with both parents. Dreams of ministry. Dreams of being who I was supposed to be. Dreams of what I thought my life was supposed to be like. Dreams of a God centered marriage. Dreams of friendships! All into ashes! Dead Dreams! There was so much brokenness in my life that I lost hope. I doubted God’s ability in putting people's lives back together; my life back together. It was one of the darkest places I had ever been in. I remember nights when I would cry out to God imploring for him to restore my soul. I did not want to stay stuck here in this pile of ashes! Hiding underneath it.

However, in the middle of it all, covered with ashes, I knew that the only place to be was in the presence of Jesus. It was the only place I found peace. I kept laying it all down at the feet of Jesus. The only thing I could say was, "Here I am Lord! Covered in ashes and broken!"

“But You see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within Unveil me completely I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty 'Cause You see the real me”

The Real Me By: Natalie Grant

Hope! It started to flourish inside my heart! Something beautiful started to happen! Hope was starting to develop a new season of growth. As I continued pursuing the heart of God, God started restoring me. He wrapped me in his strong arms and did not let me go. God gingerly started turning the tattered fabric of my life into a beautiful tapestry!

“Wonderful, beautiful is what You see When You look at me You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into A perfect tapestry I just wanna be me”

The Real Me By: Natalie Grant

In the middle of those ashes, new life started growing. Life! Beauty! An exchange was taking place. His beauty for my ashes! I started dreaming again, however they were fresh new dreams. Dreams that were lining up to my purpose. Dreams that were lining up to who I was destined to be. Beauty started to unfold deep inside of me. God started to restore me piece by piece!

“I see shattered You see whole I see broken But You see beautiful And You're helping me to believe You're restoring me piece by piece What was dead now lives again My heart's beating, beating inside my chest Oh I'm coming alive with joy and destiny Cause You're restoring me piece by piece”

I Am Clean By: Natalie Grant

The journey has been one that has taken time. However, I can say that today, there is so much beauty in my life. Yes, I have scars! However those scars prove that healing has taken place. I am learning every day how to love myself. John C. Maxwell says, you will never be able to bet on yourself until you believe in yourself! Guess what? I believe in myself. I am betting on myself! I am embracing who I am with all my failures and shortcomings. I will always be a work in process! Yes, I still have my moments of struggle however God always reminds me of the beauty he has placed inside of me. He reminds me that I am the apple of His eyes and that he loves me unconditionally. My brokenness is now restored by His unconditional love and powerful truths of what he says about me.

I share this to encourage somebody. If you find yourself in a broken place. Let my story encourage you today that God has a huge heart for broken people. Turning ashes into beauty is His expertise! If he has done it in me, there is no doubt that he can do it in you. Isaiah 61:3 (NLV) says as follows:

To those who have sorrow in Zion I will give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes. I will give them the oil of joy instead of sorrow, and a spirit of praise instead of a spirit of no hope. Then they will be called oaks that are right with God, planted by the Lord, that He may be honored.

Jesus is the only one that has the power to give you a crown of beauty so that you do not have to continue carrying those ashes! He longs and desires to take your sorrow and give you joy! There is HOPE! I challenge you my dear friend to take the time to take all your ashes and lay them at the feet of Jesus! In him, you can dream again! In him, you can find strength! In him, you can find joy! He is more than able and capable to give you BEAUTY for ashes!